On Saturday the 17th of July, after well-documented struggles, I scraped into the healthy weight range at 76.5 kilos (having peaked at a new record of 83.5 kilos on the 6th of April).
Shortly afterward, life happened. Quick summary:
Sydney Sydney Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Sydney Perth
And I weighed in yesterday at a whopping new record of 86.5 kilos.
I’ve learnt a valuable lesson about how travelling does not combine with any other type of work. It’s not surprising information – the only surprise is how powerful the effect is.
So now, with no more travelling this year and with repeated failure at my back, I abandon moderation (which I suck at) and dive into six weeks of pain. No chocolate, no lollies. Lots of exercise.
It’s been very clear for a long time that chocolate fills in the gap between my ability to be semi-functional and the point at which I have to consciously concentrate on not harming myself or others.
But it’s also clear that, given half a chance, I’d be morbidly obese. The kind with bacteria growing in the inaccessible folds of the fat. So with metaphorical blood pouring from various wounds, I re-enter the fray.
There’s no strategy that works other than going through the pain, cutting down as much as possible on anything resembling functionality (eg going to church, seeing friends). I’ve also been watching Bear Gryll’s French foreign legion show (8:30pm on SBS2) and the sheer pointless pain of it is wonderfully inspiring to watch – and, in my own way, to emulate.
So I’ve plastered my desk with inspiration messages. They’re not, for the most part, happy messages – but happiness makes me angry.
Here’s what they say:
life and wealth begins November 30
pain is lard leaving the body
this is better than chronic health problems
this is better than diabetes
obese people smell bad
I weighed 65 only recently – and while mentally ill and hugely stressed
fat me = fat kids
it is harder for me, but I am stronger than statistics
60% of adult Australians are overweight
I have TV, books, cats, free massages, writing, flowers, food
food tastes better
By 2050, half of UK kids aged 6-10 will be obese
By 30 November, I will be better than average
this is worth fighting for
this saves around $50 every week – that’s $300
November: green jeans [ie I’ll be able to wear pants again]
I still have a great waist
do or die
good news: spring. beetroot. diet coke. corn thins and avocado.
hunger is normal
In other news, I googled “steampunk motivation” and found this, on geneticabnormality.com: