Step 1: Let Ana outside to look picturesque.
2. Produce stilts.
3. Fall over (repeat as needed).
4. Gradually get the hang of it.
5. Let CJ have a go, and glare at his instant competence.
6. Sit frozen in terror as CJ loses control of a stilt and nearly brains you.
7. Photograph CJ’s, “Sorry I nearly gave you brain damage sweetie” face.
8. Smile privately as he loses one stilt in the mud.
9. Collect an even-more-paranoid-than-usual kitty on the way home.
10. Blog about it.
This is another good one to play along at home – all you need is two long bits of wood glued or nailed (or whatever) onto two short bits. And time.
To welcome you to “The Captain’s Daughter”, here’s a page of truly awful pirate jokes (a tad naughty in places):
Once you’ve gone through the pain of reading those, nothing in the deep can frighten you.
Speaking of unspeakable horrors, my diet is continuing. I weigh in for the end of week two tomorrow. Having untold riches helped a lot, but I’ve come down off that high now (in part because we have no actual money) and it’s difficult to get up the motivation to do anything except lie down staring at the wall. In one more week, I’ll be halfway through the absolutely-no-chocolate six weeks.