#46: Stilts

Step 1: Let Ana outside to look picturesque.

 

2. Produce stilts.

 

 

3. Fall over (repeat as needed).

 

 

 

4. Gradually get the hang of it.

 

 

 

5. Let CJ have a go, and glare at his instant competence.

 

 

6. Sit frozen in terror as CJ loses control of a stilt and nearly brains you.

 

 

 

7. Photograph CJ’s, “Sorry I nearly gave you brain damage sweetie” face.

 

8. Smile privately as he loses one stilt in the mud.

 

9. Collect an even-more-paranoid-than-usual kitty on the way home.

 

10. Blog about it.

This is another good one to play along at home – all you need is two long bits of wood glued or nailed (or whatever) onto two short bits. And time.

 

To welcome you to “The Captain’s Daughter”, here’s a page of truly awful pirate jokes (a tad naughty in places):

http://www.piratejokes.net/jokes/top20?pg=1

Once you’ve gone through the pain of reading those, nothing in the deep can frighten you.

Speaking of unspeakable horrors, my diet is continuing. I weigh in for the end of week two tomorrow. Having untold riches helped a lot, but I’ve come down off that high now (in part because we have no actual money) and it’s difficult to get up the motivation to do anything except lie down staring at the wall. In one more week, I’ll be halfway through the absolutely-no-chocolate six weeks.

Published by Felicity Banks

I write books (mainly adventure fantasy for kids and young adults), real-time twittertales, and a blog of Daily Awesomeness. @Louise_Curtis_ and http://twittertales.wordpress.com. My fantasy ebook is on sale at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/278981.

4 thoughts on “#46: Stilts

  1. You never believe it when someone says they are bad…. You always assume it cant be as terrible as that. I was wrong. But I did giggle once, so it wasn’t a complete loss.

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