CJ has many excellent qualities, among them his ability to sleep well. Very, very well. This led to one of those Conversations newlyweds have:
Me: Darling, you know that you snore.
CJ: Oh no, I’m sorry. Did I keep you awake?
Me: Well. . . you kept me entertained.
CJ [looking slightly trapped and not knowing why]: Um. . .
Me: I didn’t mind. It’s just. . .
CJ [increasingly paranoid]: Just?
Me: Well. . . you’re not normal.
CJ [utterly relieved for some reason]: Was I very loud?
Me: Not exactly. Well, sometimes. I think maybe you should see a doctor.
CJ [giving me an, “Aren’t women peculiar?” look]: Riiight.
Me: Really. I’m not annoyed.
CJ [alt/del/wifemustbeannoyed_retreat] I’m sorry.
Me [feeling more insane by the moment]: No – you – I – breathing!
CJ: I’m breathing now.
Me: Yes. Excellent point. Well. . . I guess that means you’re fine.
CJ [cautiously]: Good.
And so it was that CJ put an app on his phone that lets me record him snoring. After a few feeble recordings, I was finally able to prove that he’s. . . well, Not Normal.
WHO’S THE CRAZY ONE NOW, HMMM?
This is the recording, along with pics of the family sleeping – do stick with it to the end (you can hear me desperately trying not to laugh and wake him up):
And this is CJ’s face as he listened to it for the first time:
In other breathing-related news, sadly the zombie walk for 5 February has been re-cancelled. We’re back to the backup plan of myself and a relatively small number doing our thing in January. Details later.
The good news?
I don’t cancel stuff unless I’m dead – an excuse which won’t work this time, now will it?