Crouching broccoli, hidden zucchini

Due to a combination of skipping one zofran pill and eating some steamed broccoli and zucchini-containing lasagna, I was hideously ill this time last week. I was so sick it kept me awake (I moved a chair into the bathroom), and then was feeling marginally better in the morning so I had a few sips of water – then lost them. For the rest of the day I had basically nothing. Yurk.

But I improved day by day and yesterday was simply fabulous. I cleaned the bathroom, hung out washing, brought in washing, emptied out a bookshelf so it could be moved from one room to another, and went to a baby shop for – believe it or not – the first time.

Of course the baby shop was a thrill. I carefully psyched myself up to avoid buying anything, even though the shop was having a sale. We’re big fans of Choice magazine Australia, which does a lot of product testing (often focusing on safety, which is want you want in baby stuff), so there were specific brands I was looking for. None of them were there, but I did see pretty things, like these cots:

A lady at the shop seemed very knowledgeable and told me that, because of the time taken to test brands, Choice-recommended products are often unavailable soon after the time the tests are printed. So I put an equivalent brand on hold and went home.

Then I turned to Mama Google for further advice.

I immediately found the precise cot I was looking for, and for less than the price quoted by Choice. But I like the lighter-coloured wood (that the lady in the shop told me was almost impossible to get), and curved ends. So I surfed here and I surfed there, and I discovered that another one of Choice’s top four happened to have a curved top and to be available in light-coloured wood – and for a similar price to my first option (which was my first option of the four because it was drastically cheaper). I discovered the only existing one in Canberra, and further negotiated the price over the phone (to the tune of a $200 mattress free).

I totally win.

Now, concerned citizens may be thinking, “But why is Louise shopping for new things, when she has sworn on a pile of catalogues not to buy a single baby item?”

The answer is simple: parents.

Also, I have a baby shower coming up. I have spent literally hours scouring magazines and online stock lists figuring out want we want, what we need, and what we’d really like – and often where is the best place to buy them (many of our friends are single and childless, and have literally asked me, “What do I buy you?” I’m so lucky in my friends and in the straightforward nature of Aussie friendships.)

One of my super powers is getting the maximum benefit out of present-generating events (such as Christmas). For example, I’ve found the perfect stroller on sale and will pay for it, then let people know that if they give me cash, that cash is going towards the stroller. If there is change, I will secretly spend it on boring things like safety gates (that no-one will want to buy). Also, I’ve asked that people don’t buy me clothes, books, or toys – because I already know I’m getting huge amounts of those items secondhand. See? Cunning. Cunning like a slightly tactless and grasping fox.

Presents are AWESOME. Not only do I feel like I’m achieving some progress financially (a happy illusion), but I also get shiny things. Shiny things are the best distraction for the four months of nausea still lurking in my immediate future. In some ways, shiny things are more exciting than a new baby.

Don’t get me wrong, a baby is the point of the exercise (and entirely worth it). But right now the baby is a long, long way away – and presents are happening week by week. Also, a baby is a complicated and messy blessing (phrases like “Your life is over” and “You’ll never sleep again” are especially difficult when I’m already in physical difficulty) – whereas presents are a very simple and straightforward blessing. They’re pretty much guaranteed not to throw up on you.

So I’ll say it loud and proud: until the baby actually emerges, presents are the best thing about pregnancy.

But in the meantime, here’s Louisette sucking her thumb:



I wish she was already here. She’ll be even cuter in colour, 3D, and surround sound.

Published by Felicity Banks Books

I write books (mainly adventure fantasy for kids and young adults), real-time twittertales, and a blog of Daily Awesomeness. @Louise_Curtis_ and My fantasy ebook is on sale at

7 thoughts on “Crouching broccoli, hidden zucchini

  1. I’ll have to find one of those ‘real’ dolls that poos and wee’s and throws up on you just to prove that statement wrong…..

    1. Ann: If I can find blurry pixels cute, it’s clear that the hormones will take care of my reactions to the squidgy squealy thing that eventually emerges.

      Especially when she’s asleep. After a bath.

      1. Ann and W: what does it say about me that so many of my friends and readers are evil?

        Don’t answer that.

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