Came home from school to find Pi wrestling Ed. They broke apart and looked at me guiltily. “Ed! No biting!” I said.
“Who me?” he said.
Dobbed on Pi, but Mum wasn’t concerned. “Healthy exercise is just what EMOs need. What do you think about a red colour scheme?”
“Mu-um!”
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Before I begin – hello to Lachlan, Markus, Scarlet, James, and all the other people who “volunteered” for my writing workshop at their school today. I had a great time.
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Don’t you hate it when your boyfriend is always trying to suck your blood? I know I do. . .
Today is “share your awkward moment” day (Ben, you KNOW I’m looking at you). I’ll start by cutting and pasting a blog entry from http://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com (my other blog):
Yesterday I went to our mechanic to arrange a time for my partner’s car to FINALLY get fixed (it’s been a saga going on for months – every time we take it in for one thing, they find another thing wrong). It’s a service station where I often get petrol, so people know me and both our cars very well – they’ll actually ask how one car or another is running when I buy petrol.
The main mechanic was serving someone when I arrived, so another one wrote down the appointment for me. “And what type of car is it?” he said.
And I froze. Just couldn’t remember. Was it a Mazda – or was that mine? What on earth was MY car (other than off-white. . .)?
“It’s a mazda wagon,” I said at last. “At least, I THINK it’s a mazda. Definitely a wagon. . . definitely. . .”
I wandered off with, as always, images of praire settler wagons in my head. Does anyone else think it’s wrong to call a car a wagon?
Anyway. . .
That wasn’t as bad as when I foolishly went shopping with my husband in an unfamiliar shopping centre. We only had a few things to buy – bread, milk, fruit, maybe a can of tuna or something. So we walked along the aisles together, looking at the signs so we knew where to go. I spotted a whole aisle for alcohol (unusual, since alcohol normally gets its own little section in a corner somewhere) and said, “Mmmm. . . . booooooze.”
My partner didn’t say anything, but what can one say to that? So I just kept walking, chatting away happily. He still didn’t reply, so I stopped and turned around to ask him a question.
Naturally, my husband had wandered off long ago and was nowhere to be seen. Instead, I faced a security guard wearing that, “Yes, I AM watching you” face.
At which point I stopped talking and went to find my straying husband.
Me? Crazy? My friend Bobby the Invisible Bear says I’m just fine.
What!?!
Awkward? ME?!?
Never….
What could you possibly be thinking of?
Oh, right…
WELL?!?!
Okay, here’s a Ben story for all you internet folks out there.
You know those sugar-coated lollies called Jubes? Ben’s dad believed they were called Jews. . . and he interrupted a fascinating conversation among a group of other men to say:
“You don’t like Jews? Really?! I love Jews! I think they’re great!
Well. . . except for the black ones.”