My so-called “morning” sickness has lasted all day, every day since last Tuesday evening. Yesterday I hit the wall. I reached the point where I didn’t want to eat or drink ever again (even water makes me sicker) – so I went to the doctor. She told me to buy some morning sickness pills (which helped; I was able to eat some chicken soup last night) and told me to get acupuncture.
In my mind, the phrase “alternative medicine” translates seamlessly to “not actually medicine” but it was clear we were mutually not taking each other seriously – so I did what she asked (although she was kind enough to let the acupuncture guy use suckers instead of needles).
He put suckers on my knees, wrists, and belly – giving me “flower marks”.
Other than extremely mild discomfort from the suckers (which look like old-fashioned bicycle horns), there was no effect whatsoever. At least, not as far as I was able to discern.
The massage was nice, except that my neck and head are not the source of my stress.
I mentioned last week that it was pregnancy hormones making me like my doctor. The reason I don’t 100% trust her is that I get a very strong vibe from her that I should get over my anxiety disorder and focus on real problems. (Of course, I could just be paranoid – it comes with the territory.)
I am terrified of eating and drinking. Way more terrified than I should be. Back in the day I’d have sucked it up and got on with things (and by “things” I mean “regular vomiting” – just ask my sea-mates how I dealt with nausea back in 2006). But anxiety means I’m constantly running on an emotional backup generator, and after hovering on the edge of vomit for seven days there’s just nothing left. I’m shutting down on all kinds of levels.
The doctor’s advice was to eat, throw up, eat, and throw up again – every day for the next six weeks.
There is no anxiety treatment that is safe while pregnant, and very few nausea treatments (the pills are made of ginger and vitamin B).
I SHOULD be able to face a bit of physical illness. It’s really not the worst thing in the world. But I got nothing.
Today CJ is taking me to hospital.