Gimli killed Aragorn, and Watson hid the body.
Perhaps I should explain.
Gimli and Aragorn are guppies, a decorative but tempestuous fish. Male guppies are constantly fighting (unless they are given a harem of female guppies, in which case they apparently get along fine, having better things to do – does that shed new light on “Lord of the Rings” for anyone else?) This is roughly what mine look like (Gimli being the orange one):
Watson is a bristlenose catfish who is five times the size of the guppies, but doesn’t attack unless one of the guppies tries to take his food. On the other hand, he’s been known to dispose of bodies before today. (Oh, and Watson is actually a girl – you can tell because, unlike this picture, he doesn’t have a moustache.)
I like to think it was actually Watson who ordered the hit. He is the big fish, after all.
I first noticed something was amiss when I saw Gimli chasing Frodo. Frodo is the smallest fish in the tank, a neon tetra, and had maintained his health by keeping out of everyone’s way. (Frodo is of indeterminate gender – is anyone surprised?) But Gimli’s thirst for blood was unquenchable.
I immediately removed Frodo from the main tank, and put him in with Gandalf, our Siamese fighting fish. Fighting fish will attack anyone with decorative fins (as will guppies), hence his solitude. He was a bit grumpy about sharing his space, and chased after Frodo a little, but isn’t nearly as vicious as Gimli. Frodo is neither a challenger nor a handy snack, so he is allowed to stick around.
And so an uneasy peace returned to the household.
Next time, I should name my fish after family members.