This article by the foul-mouthed Chuck Wendig isn’t so much writing advice as an example of what awesome writing looks like. Ah, who am I kidding? I’m linking to it because it’s about a baby and it’s utterly hilarious. The man has quite a gift for the original metaphor.
This is a fairly polite entry, but there is still some swearing.
Chuck Wendig on his son’s eating habits:
“He’s like a wood-chipper.
It’s as if his stomach is a molten core, and any food poured into that fiery space is burned away to meager char and ash the moment it touches the walls of his gastrointestinal furnace. You know how some adult human beings can subsist on, say, a small yogurt and a banana for breakfast? Our nine-month son can eat more than that. Just yesterday we had to feed him four meals. You get through one container of pureed food and Baby Jabba over there is suddenly all BOSHUUDA NAY WANNA WONGA BLUEBERRY YOGURT which means it’s time to go seeking a new food source before he starts eating his high-chair.
And you think I’m kidding. He gnaws on his high-chair like a starving badger.”
Pictured: not a starving badger.