Quite a few feminists (ie those who believe women and men are equally important, deserve equal pay, equal work opportunities and equal respect) really hate it when anyone describes motherhood as the most important job in the world. I myself cringe when I meet a mother who has no interest in the world outside of her own home.
Motherhood is something that only became a possibility for me after I met CJ – just a few years ago. Having a purpose in life that actually has an impact (unlike writing unpublished books) has changed everything for me. Suddenly life is mostly good instead of mostly bad, and I am largely satisfied with who I am. In some ways I’m in uber-mum mode, since I will shortly be working full-time as a babysitter while also minding Louisette 24-7. I have love and affection and exasperation to spare, and taking Louisette with me to work gives me a unique angle on “having it all” as a mum – a very literal interpretation of filling both the employee and the “mum” role at the same time.
It is abundantly clear to me that raising Louisette is the most important thing I’ve ever done – and I’m a little bewildered that anyone would think that my life is anything less than an expression of freedom and femininity (and I assure you that, ironically, it is very hard for women to choose to stay at home with their kids these days).
Interestingly, my attitude is (apparently; my sources are indirect) similar to the attitude of African American mothers: motherhood is an act of defiance and hope rather than (as many white Western mothers seem to think) a 1950s-esque trap that women fall into.
I’m so glad to be here.
It s definitely an undervalued role…. And think that’s part of the problem. I don’t think that there are very many women out there who actually don’t want to be there for their kids, but there are so many pressures on women. So many of them are emotional pressures too, without the broader community support network that used to exist and exposure to adult company and stimulation, its no wonder that women find it difficult to cope.
I’m glad you’ve found your stride and a role that gives you the validation that you need. Fingers crossed for the rest of us 😉
Indeed!