Eurovision

Oh, Eurovision! How I love you.

Eurovison is a Europe-wide* contest for unsigned musical artists. It is astonishingly, spectacularly bad. In some ways it is amazingly predictable. In other ways it is. . . not.

Some of my favourites included the terrifying snake woman apparently giving birth on stage, the snow ninjas, the easybake babushkas (who did extremely well despite/because of their tremulous dance moves), the sailor girl (not funny or weird – just the best song; it did very badly), the vampire sailors (why sailors? Wait for it. . .),  and “Oh dear I really have drunk too much and I’m seeing a gay space knight jiggling about and backflipping – plus I’m seeing double.” Moldova was trippy once again, too.

I won’t tell you who won (unless someone asks; then I’ll put it in the comments), but it was one of the above.

Louisette was enthralled:

We playing the Eurovision drinking game – mostly with lollies. This is what we ate in a matter of hours:

And this is how. . .

Drink/Eat for any of the following:

• Any casual racism/country stereotypes
• Any on-stage costume changes
• Anyone pretending to play an instrument
• Three or more nonsense syllables/intelligible English (eg lalala, I wuv oo)
• Use of wind machine
• Anyone dressed all in white
• Key change
• Not quite getting that big note
• Someone winking at the camera
• Obvious technical problems
• Cartwheels and Back-flips. And wire work.
• Awkward jokes
• Presenters /Performers  hitting on each other
• Performers/presenters getting drunk before the end
• Michal Jackson inspired moves
• Space/futuristic type costumes
• Silly hats

• Countries voting for their neighbours or obvious political votes

Until next year Eurovision. . . don’t ever change.

*Some North African countries are also involved. And Israel. Why? Because.