Oh, Eurovision! How I love you.

Eurovison is a Europe-wide* contest for unsigned musical artists. It is astonishingly, spectacularly bad. In some ways it is amazingly predictable. In other ways it is. . . not.

Some of my favourites included the terrifying snake woman apparently giving birth on stage, the snow ninjas, the easybake babushkas (who did extremely well despite/because of their tremulous dance moves), the sailor girl (not funny or weird – just the best song; it did very badly), the vampire sailors (why sailors? Wait for it. . .),  and “Oh dear I really have drunk too much and I’m seeing a gay space knight jiggling about and backflipping – plus I’m seeing double.” Moldova was trippy once again, too.

I won’t tell you who won (unless someone asks; then I’ll put it in the comments), but it was one of the above.

Louisette was enthralled:

We playing the Eurovision drinking game – mostly with lollies. This is what we ate in a matter of hours:

And this is how. . .

Drink/Eat for any of the following:

  • Any casual racism/country stereotypes
  • Any on-stage costume changes
  • Anyone pretending to play an instrument
  • Three or more nonsense syllables/intelligible English (eg lalala, I wuv oo)
  • Use of wind machine
  • Anyone dressed all in white
  • Key change
  • Not quite getting that big note
  • Someone winking at the camera
  • Obvious technical problems
  • Cartwheels and Back-flips. And wire work.
  • Awkward jokes
  • Presenters /Performers  hitting on each other
  • Performers/presenters getting drunk before the end
  • Michal Jackson inspired moves
  • Space/futuristic type costumes
  • Silly hats
  • Countries voting for their neighbours or obvious political votes
Thanks to the opening numbers, that bottle of wine was gone before the first act came on.
France’s song was especially deadly, and the twitter feed was BRILLIANT. I no longer miss the dry sarcasm of Terry Wogan.

Until next year Eurovision. . . don’t ever change.

*Some North African countries are also involved. And Israel. Why? Because.

Published by Felicity Banks Books

I write books (mainly adventure fantasy for kids and young adults), real-time twittertales, and a blog of Daily Awesomeness. @Louise_Curtis_ and My fantasy ebook is on sale at

3 thoughts on “Eurovision

  1. Hmm. WordPress, in its infinite wisdom, is sending Eurovision comments to the next entry down. We apologise for the inconvenience.

  2. Oh my. Eurovision, how I miss thee!

    P.S. Moldova was not nearly as trippy as last time 😉

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: