“Bell! Bell!” said Pi.
I said, “What?”
“You were right! Mum has a natural immunity.”
“Fantastic.”
“I know. We have to clone her!”
“Pardon?”
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FYI – if you live in Canberra, you’ll be able to hear me on the radio today at 8:30am on Artsound (92.7FM or 90.3 in Tuggeranong).
How to make a cloning machine:
Parts: Duct tape (silver works best)
Two broken slinkies
A plastic fish
Two digital watches
A wig made from real hair
Two AA batteries (or, for better results, one gerbil)
Cardboard box (big enough for two adults)
Large red button
Instructions:
1. Tape all ingredients together with the red button on the outside.
2. Push button to operate.
I wanna photo!
I see you’ve been taking Dr Calvin’s science
class.
Tomorrow: How To Make Your Own Atom Bomb!
(it’s a bit more complicated – it needs an egg…)
Actually, science of this kind CAN be quite straightforward – such as with Serial Cloning:
HOW TO CREATE AN ARMY OF GENETICALLY-ENGINEERED SUPER-SOLDIER CLONES IN 5 SIMPLE STEPS.
You Will Need –
1. A Genetically-Engineered Super-Soldier in Morula form (Morula – an early-stage embryo, in this case consisting of 16 or less Totipotent Stemcells)
2. Saltwater Solution.
3. An Incubator.
4. An Army of Female Acolytes.
METHOD:
Step 1: Place the Morula in the saltwater Solution and leave until it has broken up into its 16 component cells.
Step 2: Leave individual Cells in Incubator until each has re-developed into Morula form.
Step 3. Repeat Steps 1-2 with each Morula created until you have the desired number of Embryos (though remember to freeze a couple so that you can create more later if necessary)
Step 4: Implant Embryos in Acolytes.
Step 5: Dominate World.
AWESOME!!!!!!