You’ve gotta love the SERIOUS lolly shop. I don’t mean the confectionary aisle of the supermarket (treasure trove of wonders, yes – but still not the same thing). I mean THE lolly shop. The one with peculiar feasts from distant lands, and with lollies you’ve never heard of before. And with strange items in jars and an entire huge table brimming with tiny clear-plastic bags of utterly sinful mystery.
The lolly shop I chose for today’s awesomeness was the one (I can never remember the name) in Gold Creek, Gungahlin, Canberra, Australia. After getting lost and asking directions (as I do every single time) I found the shop and wandered, drooling, until I eventually made my choices.
The skittles were a different colour inside than out. I had meant to ascertain, for journalistic reasons, whether they were always the same combination (such as blue on the outside, pink on the inside) but, although I tested them extensively, I did so mainly while in my car, driving, at night. As a result, although I have memories of biting them in half and looking inside, I was unable to remember from one skittle to the next whether the internal colouring was consistent or not. (This lack of fact-finding journalism is why my blog hasn’t yet been picked up by any major newspapers.)
As always, I thoroughly enjoyed the jelly belly jelly beans (my favourite flavours are toasted marshmallow and buttered popcorn).
The flying saucers were startlingly sour.
And then there was this. . .
It was $4.20, and I really bit off more than I could chew with that one. In fact, I couldn’t bite it at all. This is after three hours:
After five hours, I was thrilled to be able to fit it in my mouth – just.
It took SEVEN HOURS to eat. My tongue hurt, my cheeks hurt, and my jaw hurt.
Don’t do gobstoppers, kids.
Play along at home: Eat a $4.20 gobstopper (if you’re an IDIOT, like me). Or just some kind of unique candy. Mmm.
And now. . . the reverse burglary locations revealed. Go back to the photo above. See that big stick thing? I pushed that between the cushions of your couch (nice couch, by the way). The jar of hard lollies in the background is inside your TV cabinet.
Let me know when you’ve found them!