Adorable Proof of Incompetent Parents

Before I start – I know there are three types of people reading this blog, so here are my messages for each of you:

1. Regular readers who are really not that interested in babies – never fear. In a week or two your normal schedule shall resume (in fact I’ll be posting the third Philip Reeve book review this Friday).

2. Friends and relatives who want to know what’s happening with CJ and I and baby Louisette – welcome! Wednesdays will be devoted to Louisette from now until several years into the future, so feel free to come back once a week (or whatever – there’s also a “baby talk” and a “parenthood” tag so you can find all Louisette’s entries fast – some entries aren’t tagged yet, but I’ll eventually go back and fix that). Also, please see two paragraphs below.

3. Regular readers who are loving the baby drama – you’re welcome. I haven’t actually read a single comment since I went into labour, but I’ll get there eventually, and enjoy them when I do (sidebar: I haven’t even dared log on to facebook, and have instead been sending updates from afar).

THANK YOU so much to. . . well, everyone I know and don’t know. . . for not visiting. I know some of you are finding it really hard not being allowed to drop by, or call, or even SMS, but it’s making a world of difference to CJ and Louisette and above all to me. I really can’t handle even receiving phone calls at the moment, and I’m loving the very special closeness between the three members of my family. Please don’t feel excluded, either – my own brother hasn’t seen Louisette yet, and my sister (who was there assisting at the birth!) did not even get to hold her for several hours. I will eventually let people in (bit by bit) so if you’re desperate to see Louisette ASAP please email me, and I’ll make sure you’re one of the first.

In the meantime, I’ll be blogging more details every day – hopefully that will prevent anyone worrying or feeling completely ignorant of what’s happening.

While I remember – Louisette weighed in at 4.15 kilos. No wonder any kind of late-pregnancy movement felt like someone was punching me in the stomach! Thank goodness I had no idea how big she was.

When I woke up this morning, this is what I saw:

She was so beautiful it took my breath away. (And yes, all you people who see nothing but a squidgy face with bags under the eyes – don’t panic: I’m still my cynical self and I’m perfectly aware that to you she’s mostly a poo-creating machine at present.) I’d like to title this picture “Adorable Proof of Parental Incompetence” for the following reasons:

1. See that cloth not quite obscuring her face? We put it in the cot to cover up a mild mess. This indicates more than mere laziness – it’s a suffocation hazard (what with it covering her face and all – I pushed it out of the way to take the photo). What bad, naughty parents we are.

2. See that arm completely not inside her white swaddling wrap? That’s because neither CJ nor I were ever able to wrap her up in the enclosed, womb-like way that newborns crave. Within minutes, she’d always have an arm out and flailing uncomfortably (we saw the midwife this morning and she re-taught us the right method, which is actually now working fine).

3. See how the arm is hanging wildly free of the bassinet? That’s because we placed her in the bassinet rather off-centre, so I could reach her more easily when she fussed in the night. Since the bassinet rocks, she slid slowly but surely down the slope until she landed up against the bars at a 45 degree angle. None of the baby books SPECIFICALLY prohibit sending one’s infant to sleep at peculiar angles, but I’m pretty sure it’s not recommended.

Before you start reassuring me with your tales of the time you accidentally stuck your three-day-old in the oven instead of their cot, don’t worry: Both CJ and I feel oddly peaceful and happy, and we’re not-so-secretly pretty damn pleased with ourselves as both people and parents. Save your reassurance for the child services man ringing your door bell right now.

Here’s Louisette meeting her cousin (my sister’s daughter, hence her privileged visitor status) for the first time:

I’m just about to start on tomorrow’s blog entry: the full story of how the labour went (told as gently as possible to keep my G/PG rating). There were some interesting moments (including the moment when the midwife took leave of her usual good sense to say, “This baby is going to be REALLY BIG!”)