Time to hide in your box, quivering in terror. Today we’ll be visiting the Pub Rants blog (“pub” as in “publication”, you lush) for the bad news about beginnings: 99.9% are rubbish. You can tell an experienced writer because they don’t bat an eye when someone says, “Send me the first two hundred words ofContinue reading “In the beginnings. . .”
Category Archives: Writing Advice
Bookpocalypse now (PG for swearing and violence)
This is a post by Chuck Wendig, who often writes about writing and/or the baby he’s got coming any moment now (via his wife). His blog is NOT child-friendly. The man writes the most graphic (and usually sexual) metaphors in the world. He is a dirty, dirty man. This article is only gory (with a mildContinue reading “Bookpocalypse now (PG for swearing and violence)”
How not to write a query letter
If you’re a writer long enough, the carefree laugh of creative joy turns to a bitter sarcastic coughing hack. Here, for your bitter (but equally way more valid) joy, is an entire website devoted to sarcastic replies to idiotic queries. It’s called Slushpile Hell. (For those not in the know, the slushpile is the pileContinue reading “How not to write a query letter”
101 Awesomenesses: Report
I have taken MANY liberties (mainly shortening and some retitling) with this list, but the original list is here. The pictures below are mine, except for the last one. There will be more awesome linked lists (top tens and suchlike) soon. 1. Pajama party In bed. Just you, something (or someone) to snuggle, a laptop, notebookContinue reading “101 Awesomenesses: Report”
Guest blog on sailing and ballooning
Here it is, as promised – with more pics and writerly descriptions of what the experience is like. http://ripping-ozzie-reads.com/2011/03/21/tall-ships-and-balloon-travel-what-are-they-really-like/ Ripping Ozzie Reads is a blog I’ve been following for more than a year. It’s run by a group of well-known Aussie writers, and has lots of interviews and writing articles.
#299: Steampunk Research
In January I decided to write a steampunk series. This was daunting, because I’m no historian. I decided to remedy my ignorance (to a very minor extent) by reading twenty nonfiction books (and of course spending time on wikipedia and elsewhere). I also took another look at the TV series “Worst Jobs in History”, visitedContinue reading “#299: Steampunk Research”
#102: Write a twitter tale
Clearly, this is something I do rather often. Still awesome, though. If you’d like to do so yourself, here’s what I’ve learned (mainly by doing the opposite): 1. Readers need to clearly understand what’s happening – no matter how tiny the “chapters”. 2. Readers need to be emotionally involved (no matter how tiny the “chapters”).Continue reading “#102: Write a twitter tale”
#57: Speed Writing
Want to write a bestselling novel? There are three basic things you need to do: 1. Write a novel. 2. Write a good novel, probably by much editing of #1. 3. Sell a lot of copies of your novel. (Or alternatively, become a celebrity and ghost-write a novel. But I digress.) Today’s all about #1,Continue reading “#57: Speed Writing”
S#11: Paper Hat
Last night I took the entertainment section of the paper and made it more entertaining. CJ was kind enough to also model for me. The heading reads “Disney’s Last Princess”. It was quite an interesting article, saying that little girls no longer want to be princesses (unless they’re under five). Apparently “look pretty and findContinue reading “S#11: Paper Hat”
How To Talk English, Like, More Gooder
If you watch TV, you’ll know that people are dumb. As a writer, you don’t want to alienate the slavering masses of humanity, so here’s ten ways to make absolutely sure you come across as a complete idiot in your writing (interspersed with steampunk gadgets). 1. Use “like”, “totally”, and “you know” as much as possible! AlsoContinue reading “How To Talk English, Like, More Gooder”
S#20: Inexpensive Pampering (and, setting)
First, for those attempting to learn writing, a really interesting article on setting. http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2010/05/what-makes-great-setting.html Personally, my advice is to make sure you have an opening chapter that doesn’t require pages of explanation (but does have some fantasy element/s, so people have some idea what they’re getting into). As your plot develops, your setting can doContinue reading “S#20: Inexpensive Pampering (and, setting)”
Writing tips for when the book is written
Today’s awesomeness is getting given a GIANT CANISTER OF LOLLIES AND CHOCOLATE at the end of my final lesson with a student who just finished Year Twelve. It was high quality, too – jelly belly jelly beans, liquer chocolates and other wonderfulness. All the wrapped chocolates had their labels on them, which shows extraordinary thoughtfulnessContinue reading “Writing tips for when the book is written”
What publishers do with your book
Today’s awesomeness is #209: Share your knowledge. Which I’m doing by posting this. First, let’s make something very clear: Publishers do a lot of work. They might earn a steadier income than you or I (there’s perhaps a dozen in Australia genuinely doing well), but they work just as hard and love books just asContinue reading “What publishers do with your book”
How to Write Steampunk
So, you wanna write a steampunk tale? I recommend you start by researching Victorian times – my favourite book is “Victorian London” by Liza Picard. Her section on bathing is hilarious. You can also go here, for some of the most beloved bits and bobs of steampunk compositions: http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1249132-SteamPunk-A-List-of-Themes You can read Richard Harland’s “Worldshaker”, “GirlContinue reading “How to Write Steampunk”
Three Things You Need to Begin a Novel
Some people believe you should write an outline of every scene before you begin. Others believe you should flow with the tale as it happens. I think that plot is important enough to deserve conscious thought – but I also believe that almost anything can be fixed by editing. And if you’re writing your first novelContinue reading “Three Things You Need to Begin a Novel”
Advice for Beginning Novelists
I’ve decided to start posting writing advice whenever I feel like it. Here’s the beginning: 1. Successful writers generally make around $10,000 a year (see #2). 2. Around 1 in 10,000 slushpile manuscripts get published (at a conference recently, I discovered that a large publisher hadn’t accepted a single slushpile book in three years –Continue reading “Advice for Beginning Novelists”
S#52: Have some delicious delivered to your house
Food is good. Food at home is better. Food at home with no dishes is one of the great pleasures of the modern age. I had Chinese this time. Mmm. . . duck and mushroom sauce. . . Here’s a link to a short story I wrote called “The Misbehaving Mountain”: http://www.onthepremises.com/issue_05/story_05_4.html And here’s aContinue reading “S#52: Have some delicious delivered to your house”