Author Archives: Felicity Banks Books

Mum, Dad, Pi and I hid on Mount Stromlo. The Mums found us – Mums always know where to look. Mum3 dragged me off while the others fought. * “It’s polite to share,” Mum3 smirked. She locked me in our basement and said, “We’ll ALL see you soon. . . sweet, delicious heart.” ——————————————— WhileContinue reading “Daylight Day 86: Prepping for the Zombie Apocalypse”

2 Oct EMO used to stand for ‘emotional’ – the teen subgroup that’s only happy to be sad. Now it’s become a disease eerily similar to vampirism. * My name’s Bell. I considered being EMO once, but then I saw a pretty butterfly and got over myself. Got bored and decided to save the world.Continue reading “Daylight Day 85: Story so far”

——————– Since it’s Christmas Eve, here is some gratuitous cuteness for you (for those who want gratuitous sarcasm, visit http://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com):

Dad’s probably recovered, but we left him there for safety’s sake. Mum and Pi and I took over Win News and wrote our own bulletin. * “We have thought-provoking news,” I read. “Excessive sunbathing causes cancer, which is VERY sad. Don’t go outside, whatever you do!” ————————————— A law firm is offering gift vouchers forContinue reading “Daylight Day 83: For that special someone. . . that you hate”

Dad almost fooled us into untying him from the roof. He claimed he hadn’t finished buying our Christmas presents. Diabolical EMO tricks! ———————————————————- The best present I ever received was a brand new laptop. Despite being a writer, I’d never had a new computer. Thank you, Mum and Dad. What was your best present ever?

We found Mum in church, basking in the stained-glass light as her sparkles faded again. “Will you help us save the world?” “Okay,” she said. ———————————————- Today’s guest author is. . . well, it’s me. I’ve always had a fondness for weirdo stories (like, for example, twitter stories), and this is an early example. EachContinue reading “Daylight Day 80: Guest Author”

2 Oct EMO used to stand for ‘emotional’ – the teen subgroup that’s only happy to be sad. Now it’s become a disease eerily similar to vampirism. * My name’s Bell. I considered being EMO once, but then I saw a pretty butterfly and got over myself. Got bored and decided to save the world.Continue reading “Daylight Day 78: Story so Far”

“Bell?” “Pi?” “Bell!” “Pi!” “You saved me!” I felt my eyes prick with tears. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Pi. Now we have to get out of here.” * We broke pieces off the treehouse and Whap! Bang! bashed those EMOs until they let us go. Running down the street, we laughed for joy. *Continue reading “Daylight Day 77: The Science”

Pi thrashed in his bonds, attracting Ed and the Dads. They said, “Come down, Bell, we’re thirsty.” Still not EMO – but for how long? ————————————– Okay, so half of this blog is lifted straight off Steff Metal. I admit it. And she really outdid herself this time (and I’m speaking as someone who isContinue reading “Daylight Day 75: Heavy Metal Gift Guide”

This photo was taken by someone on their holiday (with thanks to NineMSN) Have I mentioned I’m training an army of attack gerbils? Clearly this is someone I should recruit at once.

I crept into Pi’s room at night and dragged him into our old treehouse. He didn’t like his gag – or being tied onto the roof. Then I waited. —————————————————- Today’s guest author is Australian writer Crisetta MacLeod. NUMBERS My little sister was such a clever little thing – cute as a button, and learnedContinue reading “Daylight Day 73: Guest Author”

Dreamed I was EMO. I walked into the sun and sparkled like fire – then I blew up! It was VERY sad. When I woke up, I knew what to do. ——————————————— If the EMO pandemic hasn’t got you yet, these jokes will help: 1) Why did Harry fall off his bike? Because Harry wasContinue reading “Daylight Day 72: Cheer Up Emo Kid”

2 Oct EMO used to stand for ‘emotional’ – the teen subgroup that’s only happy to be sad. Now it’s become a disease eerily similar to vampirism. * My name’s Bell. I considered being EMO once, but then I saw a pretty butterfly and got over myself. Got bored and decided to save the world.Continue reading “Daylight Day 71: Story So Far”

Pi came into my room. “You’re one of us, aren’t you Bell? You don’t want to be left behind, do you?” Ed and four Dads shadowed him. I ran. ——————————— If you thought humans were the only species vulnerable to EMO, you’re wrong. This is a genuine news story. Angry Dolphin Bullies Swimmers Off NZContinue reading “Daylight Day 70: When Good Dolphins Go Bad”

“We’re thirsty,” said the newsreader. “We’re coming to find you, and we’ll drink to your health with your own sweet delicious blood!” ———————————————— The entire Western world becomes much more stressed in December, and it shows most dangerously on our roads. Yesterday I saw: 3 cars drive over traffic islands. 3 people nearly killed (severalContinue reading “Daylight Day 69: Driving Miss Deadly”

Got chased by three sad elves. Weird and frightening. Began disguising myself with dark clothes and morose expression. Green hair unhelpful. ——————————— In another wildly off-topic celebration of Canberra, here’s a celebration of customer service: I went to Carbatec in Fyshwick today (6/145 Gladstone St) looking for an obscure wood-shaping thingy. I found the rightContinue reading “Daylight Day 68: Carba-tec”

Wandered the mall searching for anyone who wasn’t sparkling. I was all alone. Six Santas sat in a gutter, weeping and tolling their bells. * On “Top Gear”, Clarkson and James May hugged each other and wept. I lost my bet that Richard’d be the first to turn EMO. (It’s his hair.) ————————— Lately I’veContinue reading “Daylight Day 67: Hate Twilight? You may like. . .”