I normally do this on Fridays (and at the end of each tale), but here it is anyways: Wed 10 Feb “Mum! I gotta go make rain now.” “Why can’t you get a real job?” “MUM!” I switched off the comm and shot my payload into a full-looking cloud. * Since I’d cunningly forgotten toContinue reading “Cloud Wars: Story so far”
Author Archives: Felicity Banks Books
Cloud Wars: Twitter controversy # 2
It’s been pointed out to me (usually with sniggering) how unbelievably Freudian my first day of “Cloud Wars” turned out to be. All I can say is. . . I had absolutely no idea. It’s interesting, though – pirates kill a bunch of people, no problem. A woman starves her husband to death – whatContinue reading “Cloud Wars: Twitter controversy # 2”
Cloud Wars: Mad Science
To celebrate scifi, I’ll be posting a bunch of mad science moments here at twittertales. Today’s is a special favourite. It’s a whole bunch of upside down houses. This one is (or rather was) a genuine house. You can see the video through the website, http://weburbanist.com/2010/02/07/flip-this-home-10-unbelievable-upside-down-houses/
Cloud Wars: Scifi that isn’t fi
Cloud seeding (ie making clouds suddenly drop rain or snow) is real. I’ve seen the results (this year, in Beijing – the heaviest snowfall in sixty years). Clouds can be seeded by cannons (which can be loaded on the back of trucks, or shot from the ground – and yes, people living nearby hear themContinue reading “Cloud Wars: Scifi that isn’t fi”
Day 7: Completed Story
1. A friend got me the job – $90 an hour, starting the day after he left on holiday. Seemed a lot of cash to work for the local tourism office. * The boss looked at me silently for an hour. “Can you swim?” he asked. I nodded. “Can you run?” “Yes.” “How long canContinue reading “Day 7: Completed Story”
Day 6: Happy Birthday Me
Really couldn’t think of anything to blog today, so made lemonade out of lemons (literally, a few hours ago). PG – violence Time for. . . The Party Story. Each person writes a bit, then scrolls down so just a word or two (mid-sentence) leads on for the next person (who doesn’t read the storyContinue reading “Day 6: Happy Birthday Me”
Day 5: Fun Facts
Time for some crocodile facts. 1. Crocodiles can outrun you – even on land. 2. Crocodiles grow up to twenty feet long. 3. Crocodiles are surprisingly stealthy – most people who are attacked never see it coming. 4. The motors of some small boats make a noise that crocodiles find incredibly interesting. 5. Crocodiles don’tContinue reading “Day 5: Fun Facts”
Day 4: Flat Sharks
I visited New Zealand, and at Kelly Tarlton’s (in Auckland I think) I was able to go in the water with some sting rays – one of which was over a metre across and weighed rather a lot more than me. (My excuse for blogging thsi today is that crocodiles and sting rays are linkedContinue reading “Day 4: Flat Sharks”
Day 3: Diagram
Today’s plot is so complex I believe it requires a diagram. Observant readers will clearly see the high-tension cable flinging human and attached crocodile into the air. Those of an artistic bent will see much more. The billabong (that’s Australian for “pond”) has the characteristic Australian greenish hue, while the eucalyptus is the kind thatContinue reading “Day 3: Diagram”
Day 2: Gory tale
If you have a sensitive disposition and a vivid imagination, you may not want to read this one (it’s not graphically written, so let’s call it a rather gentle PG rating): On February 19, 1945, nine hundred Japanese soldiers retreated across a swamp in Burma. The swamp was sixteen kilometres wide and filled with saltwaterContinue reading “Day 2: Gory tale”
Day 1: Tourism
This entire story was inspired by the fact that the Northern Territory (that’s a particularly underpopulated state of Australia) has a tourist boom every time someone’s attacked by a crocodile. Clearly, our tourism ads should be about snakes, spiders and prehistoric monsters, instead of Lara Bingle. (Well, actually, now I think of it. . .)
Day 6: Complete Story
For the Man who has Everything Sat 23 Jan My beautiful new wife gave me the “Genuine Castaway Experience For The Man Who Has Everything But Happiness.” It’s so peaceful here! * Why won’t the monkeys stop screaming? I’m reminded of the days when I was still allowed to see my grandkids. Bad memories, asContinue reading “Day 6: Complete Story”
Day 5: Thirst
Since our hero hasn’t found water, and it hasn’t rained, he’s in a certain amount of danger. When I lived in Indonesia, I discovered that when Indonesians say “fasting” they mean no food AND no water (although usually a “day” of fasting is only three-quarters of a day). My friend Wibi (an Indonesian man) andContinue reading “Day 5: Thirst”
Day 4: Sherlock Holmes Review
Fine. I admit it. There’s no possible connection between “Sherlock Holmes” and “For the Man Who has Everything”*. Nonetheless, here’s a review of “Sherlock Holmes”. Three words: Violent. Funny. Excellent. Visually it has exactly the beautiful, detailed darkness of the steampunk age that I hoped for. If I hadn’t just seen “Avatar”, I’d spend moreContinue reading “Day 4: Sherlock Holmes Review”
Day 3: Survival tips
Side note: In an amusing counterpoint (amusing to me, anyway), I just wrote a blog celebrating my one-year wedding anniversay over at http://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com although if the lovely hubbie gives me a “Genuine Castaway Experience” he’ll be in biiiig trouble. When it comes to water in the tropics, rain is your best bet. The best typeContinue reading “Day 3: Survival tips”
Day 2: Indonesian words you know, but don’t know you know
We’ll pretend for the sake of this blog that our hero’s location is one of the thousands of Indonesian island (a small one, clearly, and one without people). So if he discovers anyone, these words may be useful. Sorta. (‘C’ is pronounced ‘ch’ and ‘r’ is slightly rolled, and voila! You speak Indonesian.) Food: apelContinue reading “Day 2: Indonesian words you know, but don’t know you know”
Day 1: Coconuts
Hello and welcome to a new theme and a new tale – the shortest so far. (In February stories will begin to tend toward a one-month length.) Today’s blog is all about coconuts. Coconut milk is recommended if you have food poisoning, because it’s packed with sugary hydration (and it’s delicious – young coconut milkContinue reading “Day 1: Coconuts”
January 19: Complete Story of “The Spy Who Shoved Me”
PS for those who’ve kept up, I’ll post the last of the China photos at http://felicitybloomfield.wordpress.com today. THE SPY WHO SHOVED ME Sun3 The name’s Bind. Jimmy Bind. On mission to China. I can tell the flight attendant wants me diced on a tiny tray. Time for some airline food. * He comes at meContinue reading “January 19: Complete Story of “The Spy Who Shoved Me””
January 18: Don’t eat yellow snow, and don’t. . .
drink “Golden Lemonade”. I did a week ago today, and I’ve been sick ever since. It’s got all the ingredients of regular home-made lemonade, plus syrup, cordial, and egg yolk. It was pretty nice – like home made lemonade, but much more so. Powerful stuff. Yesterday I drank undiluted cordial, which is apparently quite aContinue reading “January 18: Don’t eat yellow snow, and don’t. . .”
January 17: Bali Bogan
For those who haven’t heard the term, “bogan” is Australian for “white trash”. They’re the kind of people who hear that the government is helping young families, and start popping out kids at one/nine months. They’re also the kind of people that all seem to end up in Bali. My partner and I came homeContinue reading “January 17: Bali Bogan”